Monday, August 10, 2009
The thought of all the financial expenses incurred on this treatment makes it more unbearable and devastating. Since my husband was still in the air base, I waited for him inside the clinic. I didn’t bother reading magazine if only not to notice time. I was sitting and lost in my thought. Is this really happening to me? For the Puregon alone, we already spent as of this day about P/ 50,000. More than P/ 60,000 if I am to include all the tests did to me in the monitoring of my eggs. Yet, despite the amount spent on this treatment, I still see no sign of hope. I’m on my 15th day beginning the 1st day of my menstruation. On the regular cycle of a woman, it is day 12 which is the peak of her ovulation. So day 15th is just to utilize whatever it is for my eggs to ovulate. It is not a promising data.
So there I was sitting in the middle of the clinic lost in my thought. How am I supposed to explain this to my husband? This treatment is draining whatever small savings we have. I sent sms to my brother who is in other country and my sister who is at home telling them of the heart-breaking result. They both consoled me saying we did what we could. That I have to let it go and let God take charge.
I couldn’t contain my emotions, I went outside and cried. It’s good that the clinic is near a busy street so people didn’t notice I was crying. I asked God: “why are you not listening to me?” and as if I realized it was I who wasn’t listening to Him. Perhaps, he had already told me conceiving this time is not possible and yet I persisted on my plan and now that things didn’t go as I expected I come to Him.
I don’t know what else to think. Or what else to tell God.
I guess I’m just tired right now.
Dear God, do you hear me? Do you hear my thoughts and prayers?
Thursday, August 6, 2009
I wanted to note my daily injections of Puregon. I will be updating it from time to time. The tests were arranged chronologically, that is according to the time there were taken or done.
Jul 28
My 1st time to undergo Estradiol Test. Result 54pg/ml ---------------Paid P/ 1,200
My 1st time to undergo FSH Test. Result 54pg/m ----------------Paid P/ 750
Ultrasound to check the size of my egg
My 1st day of Puregon shot.
Doc prescribed 75 IU/day of Puregon for 4 days. July 28-31
Bought 1 vial 300 IU of Puregon ------------------Paid P/ 12,000
Total spending for this day's medicine and tests ------------------Paid P/ 17,850
Aug 1
Estradiol Test. Result 103.29 pg/ml --------------------Paid P/ 1,200
Ultrasound to check the size of my egg. No Estradiol test done.
Doc prescribed50 IU/day of Puregon for Aug 1-3
Bought 3 vials of Puregon with 50IU each vial -----------------------Paid P/ 7,500
Doc's fee and TVS -----------------------Paid P/ 600
Bought medicine for my UTI ----------------------Paid P 1,000
Total spending for this day's medicine and tests ---------------------Paid P/10 ,300
Aug 4
Ultrasound to check the size of my egg. No Estradiol test done.
Doc prescribed 50IU/day of Puregon for 2 more days (Aug 4-6)
Bought 2 vials of Puregon with 50IU each vial ---------------------Paid P/ 5,000
Doc's fee and TVS ----------------------Paid P/ 600
Total spending for this day's medicine and tests ---------------------Paid P/5 ,600
Aug 6
Estradiol Test result 73pg/ml ---------------------Paid P/ 1,200
Ultrasound to check the size of my egg.
Doc prescribed 75 IU/day of Puregon for 4 days. Aug 6-10
Bought 1 vial 300 IU of Puregon ---------------------Paid P/ 12,000
Doc's fee and TVS ---------------------Paid P/ 600
Total spending for this day's medicine and tests ---------------------Paid P/13 ,800
Aug 10
Ultrasound to check the size of my egg.
Doc prescribed 75 IU/day of Puregon for 4 days. Aug 10 - 13
Bought 1 vial 300 IU of Puregon ---------------------Paid P/ 12,000
Doc's fee and TVS ---------------------Paid P/ 600
Urinalysis (Urine Test)
Aug 14 - Day 18 since the 1st day of injecting Puregon
had my last shot of Puregon before my appointment w/ my OB
Ultrasound to check the size of my egg.
Result: size of eggs are not significant enough to mature
doc's verdict to abandon the treatment and rest for a while and continue if we already have the money
Monday, August 3, 2009
I had my third shot of 50 IU of Puregon. The same procedure we did with our 1st shot using the Terumo 26 G x 1/2" syringe. Again, before injecting I rubbed the area to be punctured with cotton which I dipped in alcohol. I pinched my belly. Then my husband injected the Puregon on the right side of my tummy. Just like the previous 2 shots, it was quite painful. I wished it's Puregon pen we used instead. After draining the syringe with its content, I continuously rubbed in circular motion the area around the punctured skin. Whenever I do that I felt relieved of pain. So I did that until I no longer feel any pain.
I took a nap after. My hubby woke me for lunch.
The varying response level of women to FSH makes it impossible to set a dosage schedule which is suitable for all patients. In view of this, my doctor prescribed 50 iu/ day of Puregon for the next three successive injections. This dose may be adjusted as my treatment progresses. To find the right dosage, follicle growth is checked by means of ultrasound scanning. This is why my hubby and I are going back to the clinic tomorrow; I’ll have my ultrasound again. I’m keeping my fingers cross and hope that my eggs are growing and responding well to Puregon.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
My husband gave me my 3rd shot of 75 iu of Puregon. This time it was injected on the right side of my belly. He was quite shaky. Even without openly admitting that he was nervous, I could sense he was. In fact, when he drove the needle to my skin, he wasn’t aware he was drawing out the needle again so I held his hand steady . And again we counted 10 before withdrawing the needle. I’m quite used to being poke with needles. LOL.
31 July 09
The 4th shot of 75 iu of Puregon. He came home early to give me my injection. He gave me shot on the left side of my belly. The procedure went smoothly. I slept after the shot.
01 August 09
This morning we left home before 7 a.m. We headed straight to the hospital to have my laboratory test. Today I had my Estradiol Test and paid P/1,200 (pesos). Since the result will be available after 3 hours we headed to the market and bought food for this week’s consumption. We bought papaya, grapes, and green lemons. For vegetables we had string beans, eggplant, squash and spices.
After claiming my Estradiol result we went to my OB’s clinic. The result is 103.29 pg/ml. Then I had my ultrasound again which is done inside the clinic. She checked the size of my eggs. The result is quite good since the eggs increased in size. She then prescribed 50 iu of Puregon/ day for 3 successive days starting today, August 1-3. Then we will be back to the clinic on August 4 for the next check-up. She has to closely monitor the development of the eggs so as not to over stimulate it. Her clinic assistant administered the shot. This time she did not use the Puregon pen. Instead, she used syringe. She sucked the solution from the vial then replaced the needle with a thinner one. She said we have to make sure that there is no longer bubble inside the syringe before injecting it. She then pressed and held a portion of the right side of my belly before injecting the solution. Since the needle of the syringe is slightly wider than the Puregon pen, it is more painful. I lingered quite long in the private lounge rubbing my belly to ease the pain. For this morning session and procedure we paid P/ 8,100.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Before any laboratory test is done, one has to pay at the cashier. I paid P/1,200 for Estradiol and P/750 for FSH. First, the attendant rubs cotton with alcohol in my skin. Then extracted blood from my right arm, specifically on the vein we can visibly see. She then covered the puncture with plaster and cotton. As I was walking I could feel the punctured area tingle. I don’t really look every time I am extracted with blood; I’m really scared. Going back, the blood extraction finished early since the line for waiting isn’t long. The laboratory assistant told me to return after 3 hours to get the result. Good thing i had my blood test so early this morning else i might not make it to my OB's clinic. Her clinic is open until 12 noon only.
Soon after that, I left the building to look for a fast food chain. I need to eat my breakfast. The safest place to eat is a fastfood run by big companies. I don't bargain on this aspect because my stomach get easily irritated if i ingest dirty food and water. My stomach is the weakest part of my body. Besides, i always had bad experience eating in carenderia. Going back, I walked two blocks and found Jollibee, a Filipino food chain. I had plain rice, carne norte and sunny-side-up egg. I also had hot chocolate and water. Since it was still past 8 a.m., I linger longer by reading the day’s newspaper, The Philippine Daily Inquirer. Its front page is the SONA (State of the Nation Address) of Pres. Gloria Arroyo. I almost read the news cover to cover because my hubby didn’t arrive yet. When boredom hit me, I left Jollibee. A block away from the hospital is the public market. I was just walking leisurely looking at the items laid along the sidewalk. Around 10 a.m. I arrived at the hospital to claim the result of my blood test and few minutes later, my husband arrived. I’m glad to see him. I don’t enjoy walking by myself. I’m not used to do things alone.
We rode on his jeepney and went to my OB’s clinic. I gave her my result. I have another ultrasound. She said she needs to check if there’s no cysts in my uterus. And thanks God there was none. She then explained the next stage of my treatment. This time we will be using injectable which is called Puregon. It is a stimulating hormone. This will stimulate my egg to grow or mature. She emphasized we need to use low dose of the said medicine so as not to trigger multiple births. She gave us an instruction on how to inject the Puregon. And note, she said I could inject it myself! What?!!!!!! I feel like falling from my sit. I’m pretty scared of injections and now I have to do it myself. UGH!!!
I had my 1st shot of Puregon right on my belly. It was given to me by the clinic assistant. I was scared but I look at the procedure because I will be doing it myself starting tomorrow for 3 days.
My appointment with my OB ended with us paying almost P/18,000. Grabe! This is very expensive for an ordinary-average earning couple like us. But we took the chance because we really wanted to have our own child. And this is the fastest way made known to us. And by the grace of God, we pray this will finally pave the way of me conceiving our child.
I am scheduled to visit the clinic again on August 01. Exactly four days after my 1st shot of Puregon. We will be paying her fortune again. Sigh. This time the doctor told us she might be giving me a lower dosage of the said medicine. I really pray for the success of this treatment for we cannot afford another expensive treatment such as this.
And to this I pray to God for His divine intervention.
Almighty and loving God.
You know too well our heart’s desire and longing.
There is not a day passby without longing to have our own chilren.
God do bless the hands that help us throughout this procedure.
Bless me that I will finally conceive our own child.
We implore you dear God to bless our child with good health
and no physical and mental defects.
Such your gift of life will bring joy to our family.
Hear our prayer, Lord.
With you nothing is impossible.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Our OB estimated it would cost us at least 40,000 pesos for the injectables alone. So we still need to consider expenses on other medicines including vitamins, laboratory tests like ultrasound, and blood test , the doctor’s fee every time we go to her clinic, etc. I remember my OB mentioning about artificial insemination should there be mature eggs available. By inserting sperm directly into my reproductive tract, it is much easier for sperm to reach the my egg thus aiding in conception. Artificial insemination would cost us at least 10,000 pesos.
Sigh! That’s a lot of money for an ordinary couple like us.
