Tuesday, July 21, 2009
I am in the manufacturing industry. So working overtime just to meet deadline is not new to me. In fact, I’m used to it. Upon closing deal with my clients, deadline for the job order is already set. So I made sure all my staff functions efficiently. I make sure we are always ahead of our schedule. I and my staff could finish wedding gown in a week’s time. Sometimes, at shorter period depending on the time limit given by my clients. If my clients demand a fancy gown, I can come up with a fancy gown. If they wanted their train longer than the usual, I came up with a cathedral length skirt. If they demanded something bizarre design for their entourage, I come up with new designs and with new color combination. If the client demands to finish it in two-days time, we can do that. During peak season such as December where wedding in the Philippines is busiest, we have overtime which often times until 1-2am. Yup, we do that just to meet schedules. I am in control of time, resources and people. And I could say 95% of my targeted deadlines were met.
BUT this “baby making” is such a hurdle.
It is easier for me to create fully-beaded gowns than to make baby!!! Huh!
“PCO” is just too frustrating. Too uncertain. I just couldn’t control the outcome. I couldn’t determine the exact time that I will get pregnant and be able to deliver babies. This is just beyond my control. And for the first time, I feel so helpless. I am at the mercy of nature. I am at the mercy of my OB. Most of all, at the mercy of God.
But I refuse to give up. It is not an option.
This is the first time in my life I just don’t know what to do. What else is there to do for me to conceive? So, now I’m searching the net for answers… for emotional support. I hope you who are reading my blog will never experience what I’m going through right now.
We don’t need to get sick for us to see the doctor. It is wise to have ourselves check-up for the possible disease which we may have overlook. Hey, I never thought I had PCOs. I only knew it when I got married. And I married damn late. Had I married in my 20s, I think this wouldn’t a problem. But you see, women have an “exact body clock”, and having PCOs in your 30s is not nice. Just when I think I’m ready to have babies, I have difficulty conceiving.
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